Coaching to Empower Couple

Kate and Doug (MI Without Borders!) share tips for when coaching to empower couple and then coach Charlie & Jackie (MI Without Borders!) as they walk through a typical weekly coaching call. 

Training Guide if you want to use this video at a quarterly or mid-quarter call.

Video Reminders:

Empower couples to create their own solutions.

Step One of Empowering Coaching

1. Stop yourselves from giving advice. “OPE!”: Opportunity to Provide Empowerment
2. Align as couple.
3. Elicit a specific couple commitment instead.

Step Two of Empowering Coaching

Look for a CCC tool that will support their commitment.  Examples:

• Declaration,
• Mini declaration,
• A distinction, or,
• Something from the Toolbox.

Step 3 of Empowering Coaching

Have the couple generate an action plan and make promises.

Timestamps of each Step in this Example

00:00-2:50 Introduction — Learn to recognize when you are giving advice, stop yourselves, and focus on finding another way to empower them.

02:50-05:00 Example with J&C  —  we hear what they are up against and start to give advice, until we stop ourselves! (STEP 1)

05:00-06:04 — we elicit their commitment with reflective listening as coaches (STEP 2)

06:04-06:18 – title card describing looking for a CCC tool (says step 2 but is actually step 3!)

06:18-11:10 — we try to apply their current declaration to their commitment but it doesn’t fit. We suggest looking for a mini-declaration that encapsulates their commitment.  We listen to them and reflect, empowering them to create the mini-declaration in the moment. “We are catching waves.” (STEP 3)

11:10-15:13 — we use the commitment that they have generated to guide them to creating their action plan. They make specific promises and we give them homework to acknowledge how they are being successful at living into their commitment. We also suggest applying a distinction to the moment—they brought up “Couple as Source”. (STEP 4)

15:13-16:36 –summary. 1. Stop giving advice. 2. Elicit a specific couple commitment. 3. Look for a CCC Tool that will support the couple’s commitment. 4. Have them generate their own action plan with specific promises.