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By Dan & Amy Sheesley and Cathy & Dan Smith

The Crowne Plaza doors slid open to reveal a large, sun-washed lobby and guests with rolling suitcases crisscrossing the polished tile. Salutations and excited chatter came from the table to the left of the entrance where familiar faces were assisting couples in finding their name tags and handing out swag bags. The length and stress of the drive or flight evaporated in the warm embraces and quick “catching up.”

From Michigan/Canada to Mexico, across America and in Europe, once again we were in the welcome arms of the Couples Coaching Couples annual convention. By whatever means a couple may have arrived and in whatever state of mind, we were instantly relatable and at home in the CCC family.

After 31 conventions we should be used to the phenomenon by now. The annual CCC Convention is a commitment to a community that “actually understands the essence of being in a relationship.” Each year we all get to experience the work of the tireless committees and innovative teams to ensure that we are pleasantly surprised each time.

The buzzing continued Thursday evening as friends from across the continent filed into the meeting room. It took several minutes of friendly encouragement before everyone was seated and the mics were tested. Our beaming emcees, Lisa and Gary Clements and Francine and Steve Turtz, introduced the hardworking Board of Directors and then announced the theme for this year, New Possibilities for Connection. As the evening progressed, the expectant titter of conversation subsided into a relaxed sense of curiosity for what the next three days would bring.

From Thursday through Sunday noon we were led through exercises and vigorous interaction between couples. Subjects included how we talk to others about CCC, and a profound examination of a major distinction in CCC, One Hundred Percent Equals One Hundred Percent. We were stretched, we were seen, we were heard and the results are projects where our partners are 100 percent invested in our success; a lovely outcome.

Summary of Sessions

Welcoming All of Me

Presented by Cathy-Anne Gins & Robb McDougle and Roxy & Bob Duniway

Individual in Couple: This workshop asked: What about the two individuals in the couple? The relationships we have with ourselves? The presenters helped us look at a new possibility for connecting with a neglected or unexpressed part of ourselves. We looked at how we willingly express things we are proud of and are acknowledged for by others. Other parts, we keep hidden.

Presenters used sock puppets to perform internal dialogues between parts of themselves that were just hilarious as well as insightful:

Cathy-Anne – I am an artist with a point of view vs. I only work behind the scenes and avoid rejection

Robb – Call me Pooh and be my friend vs. Mr. Misunderstood – Let me say it louder

Roxy – The Child: “I want to flow naturally” vs.  The Judge: “There’s something wrong with me.”

Bob –  Mr. Responsible (DO, DO, DO) vs. Party Boy (Relax, man)

Bottom line: Sometimes “ME” gets in the way. Honor the “Me” in “WE.”

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Welcoming All of Me in Couple

Presented by Richard Sobczak & Sandra White and Chris & Stephanie Measzros­­­­­­­­­­­

In the next workshop, we talked about

• the parts we play within Couple
• how they can be an engine for individual and Couple fulfillment and
• the barriers to being 100%/100% Couple and how to overcome them.

After this very interactive session, we received an excellent worksheet on how to conduct an interview with your partner to clearly identify individual and shared goals when doing a project together, and how to conduct efficient and effective weekly meetings to stay on track.

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Exploring Untapped Possibilities in Quartet

 by Jen & Joe Schwartz and ­­­­­­­­­­­Joanne Barnett & Gary Waldron

On Saturday, after sharing a few jokes (I hate my job in the soft-drink recycling factory – It’s SO-DA Pressing!), we looked at how to have more powerful quartets.

In this workshop, we looked at the specifics of the quartet declaration: We are COUPLE – a moment before we were individuals, and now the focus is COUPLE. We are COACHES – we have the responsibility, intention and privilege to be of service to the quartet. We are COACHABLE – we accept the reminders and the coaching and appreciate the accountability. We MAKE OUR COACHES RIGHT – no defending, stories or excuses. Accept guidance with love. Be open to something you may not want to hear.

What is specifically unique about our quartets is

• our commitment to sourcing one another’s happiness and fulfillment
• our distinctions
• how we can explore Couple showing up on the court
• the safety of the space
• our presencing of the declarations
• our dialogue about homework

We were encouraged to use the framework of the coaching sheet and the Guidebook, to get out of the ‘fix it’ mentality and focus on Couple, to stay present to our declarations, to call a time out during stories and bickering, to focus on acknowledgments, and doing our homework in preparation for the call.

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Creating & Sharing the Experience of Couple Community

 by Francine & Steve Turtz and Gary & Lisa Clement

This workshop looked at what Couple Community and the CCC Community mean to us, how we relate to it, and how we experience (or could experience) making a difference in CCC. Members emphasized the value of friendships within CCC, the opportunity to be a contribution to others both in CCC and in our external communities, and the real-world value of coaching.

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Closing Session

After a wild evening of dancing and music, we awoke to a final session of the year in review, an acknowledgement of people who passed on in the last year, presentations of the Distinguished Service Awards (see below), and a final wrap-up.

This review only touches on how much fun we all had and how we deepened some of our friendships and widened our community. We hope those of you who couldn’t make it this year come next year. We promise you won’t be sorry!

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The Sheesleys and the Smiths belong to the Capital Connectors Circle.

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