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What Made It Memorable?
CONVENTION 2023 was “A Weekend to Remember” that included a roadmap to Couple fulfillment and delightful attractions along the way.
☞ Click here to view the CONVENTION PHOTO ALBUM ☜
Couples from around the country plus couples from Thailand, Mexico, France, and Canada traveled to Princeton New Jersey to attend the first live CCC Convention in four years. Reconnecting and meeting people for the first time after years of virtual participation was exciting and joy-filled!
So what made it a “Weekend To Remember”? Members shared what made it memorable for them:
Two of the couples who attended were first-timers from the Hudson Valley Virtual circle. They had joined during Covid and had never attended an in-person event. It’s not surprising that they were blown away. Here’s what they told us:
“As long as we’ve been in CCC, it’s been virtual. To actually be in this room with all these amazing couples that are completely committed to one another, and really up to amazing stuff in the world, was so deeply moving to us. It’s completely shifted our entire universe in terms of how we feel about what it is to be a part of CCC.”
Mary Anne & Richard Erickson – Hudson Valley Virtual
“We walked away from the convention with the concept that couple, and the distinction Couple, really could make a difference globally. The strength of the distinctions, really carrying forth in every geography with all the different couples. It was just amazing.”
Mary Ellen & Zevi Kramer – Hudson Valley Virtual
Attendees were asked what they would use as a tagline for this “Weekend to Remember” and how they would summarize their experience of Convention. Here’s what some had to say:
☞ Click here to view the CONVENTION PHOTO ALBUM ☜
“Fun, Fun , Fun, Good times! Amazing community: enlightening and entertaining!” Jacqueline & Al Silva – Westworld
“Love makes the world go round! It was an opportunity for developing loving and profound relationships with couples around the globe.” Michelle & Zack Clayton – Ohio Valley
“A weekend of renewal. A weekend to embrace love, friendship, and connection.” Amy & Dan Sheesley – Capital Connectors
“Together in Community. Learn ways to be a better and stronger Couple.”
Tom & Laura Moskaluk – Delaware River Valley
“Excitement for the future! An amazing opportunity to learn, grow, have fun with old friends and new in the context of couple.”
Stephanie & Chris Measzros – Michigan Without Borders
“Together connected in love! New and profound experiences await your couple in this safe community space.” Liz November & Tavian Cardwell – Baltimore Reimagined
“Back together and it feels good! The best family reunion where you meet and connect with couples in our national community.” Gary Clement & Lisa Henley – Sunrise (online)
“CCC Family Reunion. A chance to be inspired and touched and moved to more profound love.”
Donna & Jerry Wilinski – Michigan Without Borders
“Networking connecting with your circle and meeting new and old couple friends. Your couple will experience love and connection to one another as well as like-minded couples.”
Kim & Tom Uhlig – Delaware River Valley
“Experienced a new level of couple and community. We thrive when we have our community ahead of us or ‘I’.” Rhona & Nat Fiore- Northern NJ
“An inspiring space for couple happiness + An inspiring space for couple happiness!”
Cathy & Dan Smith – Capitol Connectors
“How close can we be? People are so sweet!”
Stacey & Edgar Masters – WestWorld (online)
“A weekend to connect. A get-together for couples to get training and connect with couples around the world.” Joanne Barnett & Gary Waldron – Baltimore Reimagined
“Community contributes to couple dream/future. An investment in your couple relationship in an inclusive learning environment.” Kathleen & John Arban – Capitol Connectors
“Ask not what CCC can do for we, but what can we do for community? A weekend of fun and growth for Couple and community.” Maria & Vince Catano – Northern NJ
“Connect and Recharge! You get more out of it than you expect!” Judith Rosenthal & David Niles – Northern NJ
“Family reunion. A group of like-minded people who come together to support Couple growth.” Cindy & Randy Neumany – Delaware River Valley
“Couples thriving! An amazing opportunity to connect and commune with other couples.” Jen Schwartz & Joe Jacobs – Rocky Mountain
Yes you! The Come Join Us invitation was first offered at Convention and is now available for all members:
If you have gotten this far in this article about convention, and also checked out the Behind The Curtain feature about creating a CCC convention, you already know that Convention including trainings, activities and resources available to the membership are created by CCC members like yourself.
Up until now, most couples were invited to join committees by people they knew who were on them. They would say “Come join us”… its exciting, or rewarding, or you’ll love being with these great people. It’s like another circle, but with people with whom you have shared interests and passion or skills.
While it’s great to do projects with people you already know, it’s even more fun to engage with new people and make new friends while you share the excitement and rewards of having your opinion and vision matter in making CCC better than ever. No one knows better than you, our members, what is needed or what might be possible. Learn about current opportunities to participate in the “Come Join Us” section HERE.
From Fun raising to Fund raising
The benefits of CCC are priceless to its members in being a community that supports, educates, and inspires couple growth in its unique reciprocal coaching model. Our organization and resources offered are generated by volunteers who give generously of their talents and time. But there are things needed that only money can buy. Our fundraising campaign, begun at the convention, has already raised thousands of dollars for scholarships to next year’s convention. Please consider adding your donation HERE. Any amount is appreciated!
The power of acknowledgment
We in CCC understand the power of acknowledgment. Many members had never experienced it before joining our community. While the weekend included acknowledgment of distinguished service, new CCC Ambassadors, convention planners, program creators and leaders, the outgoing board, and those members who have passed on, probably none had as much visible impact as the acknowledgment of the hotel staff that supported us during the weekend. Uncertain why they had all been called into our meeting room, the team members from the hotel kitchen and facilities management were lined up to face a standing ovation and words of appreciation from our community. It was certainly a weekend to remember for the staff. If that was not memorable enough… we all passed the hat and collected several hundred dollars to gift them with. It’s hard to say if it was more wonderful to give the acknowledgment or receive it!
Will there be a CCC Convention next year?
YES! Attendees voted unanimously to meet again next year, either back at the Princeton Crowne Plaza, (which is affordable and accessible, accommodations are spacious and comfortable, and the food varied and delicious) or maybe somewhere as unique as a cruise ship. If you have a location to recommend for future conventions send your suggestions in an email to Kim Uhlig.
By Cathy-Anne Gins with contributions from Cathy and Dan Smith
As the editor couples of CCC Connections and participants in the recent CCC Convention in Princeton this summer, we had the unique privilege and somewhat daunting task of sharing about the convention experience from multiple perspectives. If we have misrepresented any aspect of this by error of omission or incorrect facts, or if you would like to add your own experience to the story we welcome your input via email to [email protected].
Workshops
A “Roadmap to Couple Fulfillment” was formed by the four convention workshops building one upon another. If you missed the convention, or want a refresher, here’s a taste of each of the four workshops:
#1 Couple Curiosity
This workshop delved into curiosity as a way of being in Couple in which you don’t already know what your partner is thinking, feeling, dreaming, or committed to…but you are deeply interested. Remember when you first met your partner and you wanted to know everything about them? You focused your attention on them and asked lots of questions to demonstrate your interest. This way of being makes us feel super special. The exploration creates possibilities. It opens us to connection and intimacy.
Curiosity often disappears because we think we know one another. We develop habits of listening to agree, disagree, compare, problem solve, outshine, elucidate, improve, or reassure. When we respond to our partner in these totally normal and automatic ways, we miss out on opportunities to create intimacy, demonstrate love, and explore new possibilities.
To practice curiosity, we instead listen to discover, learn, connect, and understand. The practice must be intentional.
Carve out time for it.
Remove distractions.
Develop skills by making it a daily habit.
Say what you’re doing, i.e. “We’re practicing curiosity now.”
Suggested curiosity practice follow-up questions:
Tell me more about that.
What makes that (important, interesting, moving, exciting, worrisome) to you?
What was your favorite (part, moment, person)?
Was that (difficult, fun, etc.) for you? What made it so?
How does this influence your thinking about the future?
When have you had a similar (experience, thought, etc.)
How would you like it in the future?
The exercises in the Couple Curiosity workshop gave us first hand awareness of how we can use techniques to harness benefits such as a deep sense of connection, which leads us to…couple communing.
#2 Couple Communing
This workshop defined communing as a state of being, an experience, and a deep connection. Think about experiences of communing with nature or a higher power. When we let ourselves be fully present to something that transcends ourselves, we have a profound sense of connection. Couple communing can achieve that same state of spiritual connection where we let our feelings and thoughts flow naturally into the relationship, which transcends our individual selves.
How can we access couple communing? We can connect physically by holding hands, taking a walk together, giving unhurried hugs, or engaging in sexual intimacy. Prolonged eye contact could lead to communing. We can share feelings and thoughts. We can communicate in each other’s love languages. We might access communing in a shared activity.
Beware the pitfall! These things are not communing. They are (potential) access to communing.
We tend to depend on activities that have worked in the past to bring a state of deep connection, but when a previously great communing activity becomes rote, communing can be elusive. Words can fail us, too. We can say lovely things, such as “I love you,” while failing to be fully present. It’s no wonder if that glorious state of communing just doesn’t happen.
Instead of following formulas, we can make it easy. Communing requires deeply tuning in to each other’s feelings and thoughts, which doesn’t come from trying harder, or doing an activity better, or figuring things out. When we are vulnerable and trusting of our Couple, communing can fall effortlessly into place.
Many of the ways we access communing involve co-regulation. This is the highly studied phenomenon of our minds and nervous systems syncing up naturally, bringing a sense of serenity. One of the exercises in this workshop was a practice of co-regulation. Try these steps:
Turn to face your partner.
Reach out with your right hand, placing it on your partner’s heart. Feel it beating.
Place your left hand over your partner’s right hand, which is on your heart.
Look into each other’s eyes and just be there. Intention matters.
Really be present for about a minute.
After 15 to 20 seconds, co-regulation starts to happen naturally.
In an experience of Couple Communing, we feel safe to be vulnerable and share our feelings and thoughts. From there, couples have great access to…couple creating.
#3 Couple Creating: Creating Your Extraordinary Life Together
This workshop focused on identifying the characteristics that either inhibit or support creating as a couple.
In an exercise, participants were asked to recall highlights from their relationship. Drawing upon these past experiences, couples recognized they had the potential to create new highlights in their future.
Next, couples were asked to differentiate those variables — actions, ideas, and/or ways of being — that impeded creation. Examples were feelings of fear, or inadequacy, or the avoidance of feelings, as in not wanting to be vulnerable.
Couples were then asked to distinguish elements that fostered creation. An example was utilizing the CCC distinctions. Finally, Couples were asked to generate a couple dream and the structures that would help them realize that dream.
An inspiring example of a couple dream was from one of the presenting couples who plan to take a year to do the Great Loop in their boat.
The workshop left participants ready to create…couple in community.
#4 Couple in Community
This workshop set out to bust a myth: that it takes time to develop a circle of couples that trust each other, share freely, listen closely, collaborate effectively, execute a joint project in a very short time, and have fun while doing it. Not so for our CCC couples! Indeed, we all did all those things after meeting many of the couples for the very first time!
At the start of convention, we were grouped into circles of about seven couples who took the journey of the workshops together, shared openly, exchanged ideas, created a declaration, and prepared a presentation for the Saturday evening fun.
There was a realization that the benefits of community led to new relationships with other couples, cross-pairings between circles for coaching, discovering different circle cultures, being able to express and contribute leadership in the larger organization, and creating convention.
We all participated in the culmination of this workshop, a forty-nine-couple circle that danced, sang, and went through a giant version of the declaration process in less than an hour. Here’s the convention 2023 declaration: “We are a community of couples igniting love, possibility, and dreams in the world.”
By Roxanne Duniway with contributions from Doug Ferguson and Kate Husband; Karen May and John Marra; Jen Schwartz and Joe Jacobs; Kathleen and John Arban